C is for Coming Out of the Comic Book Closet

In the world of social media, especially the world of Facebooking, it’s all just too easy to click. In fact, when I saw a friend post that she was interested in attending a MegaCon for comics and all-things-geeky, I lost my shit. I was like, “DUDE! You are into that kinda stuff? I’m totally and X-Man fan and love the rare Alpha Flight, heck, I even have an original…”

“Wait,” she said over the wire, “you’re into comic books?”

This led to an interesting conundrum. She elaborated that she liked the sneak peeks of movies and entertainment, but did not read comic books herself and hasn’t, ever, really. But she liked the movies!

And that’s waaaay cool.

See? I have a husOtter and he’s so awesome, he makes me proud to have him on my arm. He makes me proud to have a home. I work, daily, with making sure his comfort and joy is of the utmost importance. And that pride makes it easy to face the music with these flat-earth, Trump loving, Southerners.

“I am gay. Stop talking like that, please," I frequently have to repeat.

And they flip out. Coming out of the closet was a breeze. I worked so hard to find the dignity within myself, that I know that being who I am is the greatest of my achievements. I feel little shame in admitting that I’m gay.

But the comic book closet is a bit different.

If you squint really hard, you can see the author sitting in there, trying to hide!

I noticed something in my previous position. No one watched the television programs. They would ask what television programs I would watch in small talk; I had to invent shows instead of admit that I was running home to see the Warner Bros. Batman: The Animated Series. Part I would blame on the fact that I was the youngest person they had ever hired, at a mere twenty-two. But as the 20 years scooted forward, I noticed that my flying out to experience the Star Trek Experience in Las Vegas I had to keep to myself. See, those churchies could justify my flying to the land of hookers and gambling. But to ride rides based on Paramount’s franchise?

That would be weird.

I could find kinship with others over Disney, thank goodness. Disney is a bit more universal in appeal. And movies, yes, have made it a bit easier for the comic book closet to open. Many non comic readers are seeing some excellent films, like The Watchmen and The Dark Knight and are impressed with the quality of the movie. So they go watch them and we have some commonality,

I sadly moved to a town so small that there was no comic book shop any more. Besides, with moving across the nation, I couldn’t cart all those wonderfully colored pages with me. I had to sell and downsize. Still, there’s digital readers, thank goodness, and my urges were fulfilled.

Nothing like feeling like crap after a long night and then waking up sick. You call in sick and then dig into a stack of Deadpool or Justice League: Dark.  

Nice and spooky, Justice League: Dark is....

One would think that having survived the arduous process of coming out of the closet and accepting my sexuality, I would be fine with this, would have been able to generalize this to other things about being different and unique and awesome.

The fact is, even though I am a firm believer that coming out is much easier for people today--it is still a process. And dealing with it is still laboriously emotional.  People don’t realize that coming out of any closet, something that isn’t part of the majority’s norms is incredibly deep. One has to come out to oneself. Then accept that reality. Then consider the impact on the immediates of family and friends. And then learn to swallow hard when the extensive stupidity and ignorance rears it head in laws and offhanded comments. Good people still say stupid things.

Luckily, I learned as teacher that there’s this thing called a teachable moment. My coworkers are wicked, deep seated, most-likely, haters. Their jokes, benign in their approachability illustrated a deep frustration and critique of certain groups.

That changed when, after several lunches, I gauged that talking about spouses was completely considered in the culture of my new job. So I did the same as them.

They quickly became educated. Some were fine and realized many things. Others? They changed as recently as last week, mostly for good.

Here’s the thing. I shouldn’t have had to gauge shit. I should be able to talk about who I am and what I love, regardless. I shouldn’t have to listen to their conversations and figure out what was the social norm.

But that was then.

We have all come so far.

I heard them tease the new hire, after catching her watching Young Justice on her phone on her Netflix account. My response?

“What episode was she watching? I missed last week’s.”

And I stepped a little farther out of the closet.