Louisa thought better about getting a job when she saw the mess waiting for her in the kitchen. She was surprised she had let it get to that moment, but the day was busy with laundry, as Thursdays always have been, and she was sure her constant munching and need for hot snacks paved the way for this demolition.
She looked to the clock again. She had time to finish the job and set about the task. A job would give her some extra cash then her allowance would allow, and that part she relished. On the occasions that Gary did let her go out, she was never really sure what to do anyway and the cash never really let her feel free enough.
Those choices removed, she came home still with a feeling of contentment. She said her prayers once more, knowing she was living the life her church had encouraged her to. She was doing God’s work by making the house fit for a home and family.
She knew that if she removed all the stressors for Gary when he got back from work, the dirty dishes, the laundry pressed, he would be relaxed enough to make love and she can finally create the child she was born to make. She just wished she loved the entire act of love-making. She felt much like the horses she saw as a child, forced into a stall until mated.
Silence is deafening. She banged the pots as best as she could. She had a radio once, but when Gary caught her listening beyond AM, that was a goner. He explained it well, but she missed that radio. She occasionally pondered what life would be like with a television, but Gary was quick to point out that it was highly addictive. She could not deny his evidence. All the people who owned one were fat and lethargic. She was fit and trim and he liked it.
Usually.
She was impressed with the work. She had the first half of the counter clean, and, after a glance at the clock, in record time. She waited two minutes until the clock changed to an even count and started on the second half, competing with her mental numbers. Both sides of the galley kitchen were exactly the same length, so she knew the tasks were equal.
She was about halfway when the ping of a cell phone found its way in through the kitchen window. In the rural areas of Iowa and South Dakota, fences are only if you have a dog or children. They had neither, though the child aspect was still being worked on. She was surprised at the volume of the phone, considering the young man wearing it was a good 25 yards away. He stopped. He was younger then her, a wrinked tshirt, clinging to his frame and lifting when he picked up the phone. He turned his back to her at this time, looking away to something in the distance.
She allowed her heart to swoon. But what would this young man bring to her that Gary did not? She had no idea if he had a job, though he looked a bit worn. He might be mean to her, meaner then Gary ever could be…and since Gary was the only man she’d ever known, well, the unpredictability of someone else was more then frightening. It was debilitating. She felt her heart rate rise without reason. She was loosing control. She glanced around the kitchen and by extension, the house. She’d lose everything by talking to that young blonde man. She’d lose what few things Gary had left for her—and she would have to adapt to things her mind could not imagine.
And she’d lose Gary’s respect if she didn’t finish cleaning the counter. She scrubbed harder now, making her knuckles go white with the pressure.