Movie Review: The Conjuring 2

There was a ghost story in the news.  I remember it vividly. Every night, the buzz over the book, “The Amityville Horror,” made all the crime and economic woes of the seventies pull into a very different perspective.

“You could be living down in Amityville.”

Oh, how my morbid soul would have loved it.

My older brother even read the book. This was a big step. He didn’t even read the directions on the shampoo bottle.

I was hooked.

Then? Then there was a Halloween documentary special on ghosts. Right there on HBO. My mother treated us to cable upon the passing of my father-it made sense, for soon we’d be latchkeys and need something to do.

And I watched that ghost video show a few times.

A precursor to YouTube videos, I’m sure.

On that little movie, they played back the tapes from a very documented case.

The Enfield Haunting.

The fact was, the tapes had just been released, and, due to the proximity of the famed Amityville haunting, the press was keeping the attention up and as strong as possible.

I was enthralled. My mother was hesitant. She noticed something was up when, instead of heading downstairs at the Emma S. Clark library, to the kiddie stacks, I instead went to the Dewey triple O’s.

I was researching. I found out the tales of Bell Witch Haunting. The Amityville Horror. The Borley Rectory.

And Enfield. Information about that was still short. But it would keep my interests for quite some time.

Until this Christmaskkah, when a friend told me about a special right there on BBC. I had to watch.

And I remembered. The chills and fascination returned.

It’s with this visage I came to watch the The Conjuring 2. I absolutely loved The Conjuring. Yes, it take massive dramatic license with the books I had read. But? The tale was full. And this was not a dead teenager movie. This movie (the Conjuring) truly was like the Amityville Horror. There were no dead bodies. But there were scares; pale faces; spooky rooms; ripped wallpapers. I loved it for the same reason I loved the Haunted Mansion. The long drawn out sequences and the feeling that there’s just something spookier around the next corner. There’s something creepy going on. And the audience was drawn in.

I was annoyed that they made a sequel.

Then we saw it.

Okay, they should have called it The Conjuring 2 as a subtitle. Because, what James Wan has done? He’s recreated the first scary tale, keeping all the fun creepy stuff and the two main protagonists, and plopped them down in a new, ‘true-life’ ghost story.

And this movie is actually pretty good, believe it or not.  The only drawback? Well, the sequences are a bit drawn out. It’s evident to me that he’s got experience enough that he knows the audience expects a jump with every specific, lingering camera angle. So those moments tend to be longer and longer,

But I will admit, at least twice, there were scares that had NOTHING to do with jumping, but were so deliciously creepy that I applaud their use. In fact, at the conclusion, I realized that special effects were pretty much not uses. Instead, a production design that kept us well aware of the house’s mapping and claustrophobia; actors that telegraphed their concerns so well, that I was a bit worried.

Do you like the Haunted Mansion at the Disney parks? You like the mood and atmosphere over just the standard dark-ride scares or those cheesy Halloween prank houses with teens in bad make-up? Then you’ll like this movie.

Ugh.

I shouldn't write about this. I'm, by no means, an authority on guns, or violence. Heck, I don't anyone who survived, and I don't know who was slaughtered.

I'm not the correct choice, but, at the same time, I feel compelled to author something. 

Cause I'm here. I'm a member of this nation, this planet. And I'm gay. 

There was a massacre at a gay nightclub. 

Not only that, I've been here before. 

Nathan Dunlap, upset over being fired, walked into a Showbiz Pizza place and shot up the place.  Article

The same place behind my middle school where, when I had extra quarters, I'd walk over and play video games at. 

That was close. Too close. 

See, there was a shooting in Colorado-as a school a friend of mine had just finished student teaching at. I had driven by and talked to her while she was there.  Yes, it was Colombine.

I knew that school.

That was close to home, emotionally, physically.

And then there was a shooting in a Colorado movie theater, during the The Dark Knight Rises.

The same...too close. That was the theater I had seen numerous movies, including taking my tyke of niece to see various cartoons with large popcorns; my dad and I escaping to see The Blair Witch Project to see if it was real or not. 

There's a humor in all of this. It may seem like I'm the harbinger of death, doesn't it. But the fact is, I don't own a gun, never will. In fact, it's something my husOtter completely agree on. We're men of faith. Thou shall not kill. 

Neither will we. 

No guns. 

I mean, what good will they do? I love hearing how great they are and how people are so proud of having them and keeping people safe. I have YET to hear of one story where a mass murderer was stopped by a bystander with a handgun.

You're going to google to prove me wrong, which is interesting. Because it says something more about you, the reader, than my statement. You need to justify yourself. As if the piles of dead bodies aren't enough to convince you that there's a problem. 

Two wrongs don't make a right.

Where was the Pope's gun? Just curious. I saw 10 men with guns around Reagan. And they were trained. And they fucked up big time. 

Now? Let's stop for a minute. When did it become a conversation about weaponry? 

And when the fuck are we getting to Orlando?

There was a shooting in Orlando. The thing I thought I was unqualified to talk about. But, like the other shots that were fired, are waaaay too close to my heart. I am gay. 

I know, surprise.

And I've been to gay clubs. Our safehouse. Before I came out, it was the only place I could others of my tribe, my color, my community. I got my first apartment across the street from the gay bar and would go there to watch football and play pool. It was a place where I could be, where many could just...be. To hear it shattered, again, by a religious nut is, at once, upsetting, and strangely, predictable. 

The fact is, we got marriage rights, but we're far from out of the woods yet. I mean, if the governor can declare a state of emergency without mentioning the word lesbian, gay, or anything about a sexual minority ONCE, you know, still, the state of Florida hates you. Even if it happened in a gay club. They don't even acknowledge that you exist. Lest we forget, Florida was one of the few states that didn't want to issue marriage licenses. 

Reminds me of the 80s, which I also lived through. When no one seemed to want to mention anything about the AIDS epidemic.

*)  EDIT:  I found this. Please notice who DIDN'T acknowledge the LGBT community: https://www.washingtonpost.com/graphics/national/how-lawmakers-responded-to-the-orlando-mass-shooting/

In fact, fucking Fox News with their ongoing coverage. That media outlet, which has singlehandedly kept gay rights at bay for the past few years is reporting about this, the fucking dingletwats. This is the channel that would invite Ralph Reed and Dobson on as "experts" on all things nongay.

And they're getting ratings.

Or my friends who, instead of checking on me or my friends, posted about, "here comes Obama, watch, he'll want our guns!" Not...are you okay?

And I'm not okay, not one bit. Pile this heap with shit from my nieces (yes, plural) dying in a car wreck, being robbed, both the cat and the dog dying, and then 10 weeks of the flu-and you have me in a corner, so I'm going to get all catty. Sorry.

I'm just so sorry.

No, I'm not blaming Islam, either. I did have some pause that, after 4 days of visiting us in Orlando, President Obama met with the Saudi princes at the White House-a country that executes gays. Yes, that's state business, but....come ON. 

Yes, I'm venting. The fact is, gun control may not be the answer, but I do believe, strongly, that research needs to be completed. Something that the NRA refuses to allow so they lobby against it. Makes sense. With every shooting, people buy more guns. Less violence in media? Sure, that's an old chestnut, but if it were totally true, there'd be MORE violence, not less. I do like the idea of doing background checks. That doesn't keep guns from people, IMHO. But, like, what the fuck do I know. I want something to happen, but my head's too wrapped up in everything to really know what course of action to take.

Here are some actions you can take, however:

One Blood

Please donate blood. Of course, I'm a bit peeved about this too. Imagine if my husOtter was dying and needed blood. But the gays? We can't donate. Fuck!

Pulse Tragedy Fund through the Center of Orlando

Pulse Victims Fund via Equity Florida

But enough with the prayers. If the community wasn't already in your prayers, then you don't start now. DO. Let's DO something.

A Different Kind of Review

I lean on the shoulders of giants.

Seriously. Not a Thursday night goes by where I don't find myself sitting in for a decent reading session with Rogerebert.com, even after the master of film criticism has passed. His progeny proliferate and I sit in respectful awe of their talent. I try to copy their style, their wordings, here.

I know. Good luck with that.

But the writing is good, if not great. These are people who find homes in writing, places I can only dream of.

I've also leaned on the New York Times to find the ins-and-outs of restaurant writing. The fact is, I'm not a very good cook, so, nope, that's where I fail, horribly. I don't know the kinds of flavors I'm tasting. Adjectives allude me and it's rough.

Then there's this review.

And I have no active examples on what to say or do in terms of authoring a review of specific attraction at the Disney Parks. Oh. Sure, yeah, there's a few hundred blogs.

But they pretty much suck moosepenis. They're yahoos who are in it for the free tickets. So it's not like I can copy them. They'll just throw words at the screen and use the adjective "good," ten to twenty times.

And I'm not content to tow the party line on this. I love Disney, don't get me wrong, but there's also a reason I'm not clamoring for the free tickets. Same for when I was a movie critic. I requested my publisher give me money and head to the ticket booth and I see it when everyone else.  Probably would do the same thing today.

Basically, does this moment in art hold up to scrutiny? Does the meal satisfy? Does the music linger in the heart and mind? Does the painted image hold some kind of emotional resonance?

And does what Disney create transport us to another reality?

See, here's the deal. I live an hour from Disney. Best place, ever, if you want a "stay-cation." And it's always there, especially if you have no relative nearby and an annual pass to burn. However, like the sun, the moon, and the stars, it's always there. See, like, I lived in the shadow of Pikes Peak. Did I go up it? No, not very often. I did and I enjoyed it, but, there were times, when people came to visit and, I was, like, "yeah, not happening."

Either the crowds were too thick. The sun was too strong. That extra helping of whatever didn't agree with me and I felt safer with the can nearby.

So when Disney does it's media blitz for this novelty and that new thing, I perk up, and I do listen and get all excited. But this isn't going to make it or break it for me. EVERYONE and their trophies are going to be heading over to the crowded parks en masse and I have no urge to subject myself to that abuse. We'd tend to wait, see when anyone else is going and then jump on that bandwagon. I like the situation of it, the feel of it.

Disney's Animal Kingdom, I will mention, is not my favorite park. I find that the attractions are few, and the animals, once great and numerous, were emptied when Disney realized no one was walking over to see them. Of course, now that Hollywood is basically down for the count for the next several years, they have to make something worthwhile for people to head to. Animal Kingdom is huge, but really the animals were only out during the day; the naturalistic feel of the park made fora  hot, steamy afternoon. Bamboo thickets crowd the walkways, and the crowds press into each other. It was created with the idea that the guest was the explorer, but time and an increase in visitors have left that concept in the lurch. Disney was content to change very little about the park. The numbers were high and attendense hasn't slowed in many moons. Why change a thing?

Then people started cutting down their vacations to head to Universal.

And then the Hollywood Studios elected to become Star Wars land.

Animal Kingdom was ripe for the change. Magic Kingdom just got a new Fantasyland, and so that budget was moved away.

Animal Kingdom has some interesting choices coming up and I support the creativity. For one, they're getting an environmentally themed Tomorrowland, in the shape and scope of James Cameron's Avatar. A facinating choice, and I commend them on the attempt.

And this past Saturday, they started offering night activities. Right at the start of summer.

I was content to wait. Things get edited as the nights carry on and Disney learns what's popular and what's downright stupid.

But I have smart friends.

And they jumped when they saw that the backdoor was left open, as it were.

Ahem.

They snagged fastpasses galore for the biggest item of the night.

Nighttime safaris.

Yes, Kilimanjaro safaris is now open at night.

Now, understand, Disney has won awards for providing such care of their animals. They had them trained to come in at night from their huge savannah and into paddocks where vets could check on them and make sure their needs were being met. They could count the animals and all those things that needed to happen. But with wanting to stay open later, they had to retrain the beasts to stay out far from their cages and still feel safe.

The safari was interesting for me. You can see the same animals in a zoo, and, if needed, linger over them and study them, see them slightly closer than a ranger-lead open bus. However, with Disney's experience there's something about seeing the relaxation of the animals. They're moving about in huge, open areas, as they would be in the wild so the image they create is much more natural and realistic. Not only that, the herds move about the vehicles, giving the guests the feeling that they are part of the attraction.

But Florida is fucking hot. You're sitting with a few hundred strangers and they're sweating, we're sweating and everyone is looking over everyone.

So is the night any different?

Yes, actually.

First off, there's a quiet to the whole shebang, so as not to spook the animals. The lights are a deep red on the vehicle, helping your eyes adjust to the surroundings. The headlights are on, creating shadows and, yes, quite a few horror film references were made, but that meant we were there, in that moment. The animals, now cooled from the day or more docile, more relaxed, ready for sleep. We noticed that that comfort translates to them really not caring for the slow moving ride vehicles as they pass. They yawn, stretch and mumble past.

Now, this being Disney, there was a theme about saving the elephants when the attraction first open. Made sense. They were afraid that the animals might not be seen and were afraid that your trip would be a waste, so they shoehorned a tale in about "Big Red" and poachers and you had to go save the day.

It was nixed.

Something similar happens here.

No story, but, instead, two beautiful set pieces. A scrim created sunset greets you upon entrance to the larger holding area. At the end of the tour, there's moonlight. As if you've traveled through the lowlands of Africa in one night. The feeling you've gone on a journey.

So? Is it good?

Yes.

It's cooler, for one thing. And two, we noticed some of the animals just seem to be about more. Especially the rhinos, jiminychristmaskkah, the rhinos. In fact, I noticed three different trucks guarding the huge beasts, their eyesight being terrible in the dark. But still, they were there, and in greater number than the day. The lions were roaring (however my husOtter insists that was piped in); the gnu just sauntered past.

I also noticed that lamps were hidden in the trees. When animals drew near, they came on, but very slowly, so as not to scare the creatures. This means we had the deliciously creepy experience of seeing moving palm trees in shadow suddenly sprout ears and spots and become giraffes. This was not a special effect. It was our collective minds playing tricks on us.

We also got to see the famed Tree of Life come to, well, life. Disney is now using the projections that they use on the castle curing the Magic fireworks, to make each sculpture come to life on that immense centerpiece. And, about every fifteen minutes or so, a small tale is projected, using characters that are strangely similar to Bambi or Todd the fox from The Fox and the Hound. Strangely, this seemed to be largely experimental, without mention of when the vignettes were going to happen. So your chance to see it is really hit or miss, which is too bad, because the surface area of the tree is HUGE and so the images are a bit easier to see.

No fireworks. Animals nearby, remember?

But that aspect seemed also pretty much too new to totally be enjoyed. I know I'll have to go back and see how it works. And if I had spent a few gazillion bucks to fly out with my family to see it, I might miss it and be bothered by that.

Some other night items? A new Bollywood presentation, ala Fantasmic, based on the The Jungle Book. However, it was packed as well.

And, as I started this documentation, I can wait, sometimes.

Unless my really smart friends get more fast passes and force me out of my sluggish comfort zone.

And here's my dilemma. As a critic? Yes, I feel this moment, this piece of artistry is evident and truly magical. However, I kept thinking that there was something unfinished, something like hitting a stream already flowing to the sea. The sense of journey is present but not totally ironed out to make it accessible to a large audience. I'd be curious to see if changes are implemented in the near future, to make the story and imagery stronger and more accessible.