If I could change one thing about myself??

Wait...one thing?

Okay, okay, okay. All of us are on a journey in our life. Here's the problem, no one actually tells us what that journey is. Are we supposed to save puppies? Are we supposed to date that one person so they become famous and use you as the source for that one performace on hatred?

No one freegin knows.

Religion gives some ideas on the path we need to take for some. I'll buy that. But ORGANIZED religion merely just asks for money and sells platitudes for the masses.

I mean, have you seen New Life Church?

So basically, the plan is up for grabs.

And frankly, with all my writing as of late working on a novel, I've discovered somethign that makes me more whole. I could literally do this for a living, believe it or not. Just sitting and writng has caused me to lose weight and reduce stress, not exactly what I would have expected. So, obviously, putting pen to paper has a purpose for my journey in some way.

But knowing that I am improved in some way through the act of writing also proves something else for me. That I am greatly flawed. That there is something that must be improved.

Now, I give you this. I learned this long ago. When I went into college, the amount of information was incredible. I was constantly in awe and overwhelmed by how much I didn't know and was there to learn. Proof that I wasn't perfect. Not in the least.

So, okay then. I know I need to be smarter. But I have that down pat. I am always reading and growing.

If you look back at the first thing I noticed that improved when I started writing a novel in the long term...it was the fact that my pants were looser, baggier and longer. I had not done more sit-ups, I had even been sitting more than ever before.

If there was something I could improve? I'd lose weight. I'd be thin and beautiful. I have a husband that loves me just the way I am...but he has the waist of a 16 year old boy. I'm fat, folks. And worse, I know it. I think about it when I'm not thinking about eating. I exercise, to be sure, but it's not working any more.

So?

Let's return to my journey. If I keep this weight, I'll still feel bad about myself when I ahve to ask about how much weight a specific ride can hold at Disneyland. When kids impresonate me by putting a pillow around their midriff.

And fat people die early. We know this.

Not big on the dying bit. Would rather finish the journey.

So, yeah, I need to change my body shape. I want to feel good about myself there. My brain is in order. My social life is actually vivrant.

Now the physical.

That's what I'd change.