An old coworker colleague of mine, someone I’ve kept in touch with over a social network, was bragging about her life. She has two beautiful children and has been able to keep her amazing figure. Her husband is still a hottie even after all of these years and, frankly, she had much to boast to about.


She mentioned in her posts, “The life I prayed for is now here.”

I got it. I understood her on several levels. I got it.

I live in Florida now. I have a beautiful husband. And though I might look pregnant, I’ve been able to keep this figure too. And as a bear, that’s a good thing.

But I had to talk a little about living out your dreams. For eons, I had noticed, I dreamed of living next to or nearer to a Disney Park. Any park really. I spent tons of money to see them and when I did, I hurried through like a kid on a sugar rush hoping to enjoy the moments in a buzzed blitz.

But I never had enjoyed the parks.

Trust me, all those trips with all of those friends were worthwhile and totally perfect. And I would not be able to make such a statement until I lived here. Now that I have a Walt Disney World Premium Annual Pass, the “Diz” world is totally different.

And I never had totally enjoyed the parks.

I noticed it on my first day there. Sadly, it wasn’t with my husOtter. Instead, it was with some fascinating friends that got me in for free. We breezed down Main Street and though there were throngs of people, I didn’t feel their bulk. Not because I was hurried or focused; it was because my cares and worries were different. I could come back and do what I wanted later, so standing on a queue wasn’t so much of a burden anymore. I noticed the sounds of Main Street for the first time, as if awakening from some sort of long endured deafness. There was the stutter of the omnibus; there was the din of children still happy before the heat of the day tagged them into screaming by night fall.

It was as if I had walked into Disney World for the first time.

This emotion become clearer when husOtter and myself purchased those passes and decided the next weekend would be the perfect time to conquer Disney’s Animal Kingdom. I had stepped away to use the bathroom a good five minutes before the park opened for business. I wandered off alone to the Rainforest Café and hit the bathroom. I returned to find the gates were fully open. I had missed the initial collection of tickets.

And I was okay. My heart didn’t go crazy as I rushed the turnstiles. HusOtter had moved himself just inside and was waiting. There was no rush, no panic. The panic was on the faces of those families who had taken a loan to come down to Disney World and were about to run through the park at breakneck speed to get to everything. Not for my beloved and me. We stood there and Mickey and Minnie came to the front of the guests and welcomed us all to the Animal Kingdom.

And we WATCHED. In my skull, previously, I’d be screaming, “get these mice out of my way! I need my Everest FASTPASS!”

Instead, I plain ole laughed at the skit.

A tear rolled down my cheek and I hugged husOtter, hard. My dreams had come true. I suppose I could go ahead and this point and psychoanalyze why I’d not come down to Florida sooner, why I had refused to acknowledge why I wasn’t happy. I was content in Colorado. I had everything I needed.

So I thought. I guess I figured that happiness is measured, something monitored and calculated. And for some reason, my heart, after meeting David and having a decent boring job for a long time, was ready to keep it’s rhythmic pace. I had no idea that more could be had. That I could be HAPPIER.

Happier without doing drugs or drinking.

But here I was, able to do more with my life than ever before. And my heart soared. And, yeah, I cried a little. Lovebutton husOtter could rediscover the world all over again.

So thanks Disney.

Sure, I’ll become like those old farts that have gone over a thousand times to the parks. They complain about the color of the clouds over mid afternoon while completely ignoring the smiling parade of gay couples marching about. They are allowed, but I won’t listen to them. I look at it from the fact that I used to be a movie critic. I love movies. Yet I’m the movies harshest critic. Could it be it is my way of showing them my true caring? Those who poo-poo Walt Disney World really only do it out of love.

There’s a lot to see and do in Disney World. There are some great employees who smile back at you when you smile at them. There are wonderful characters that let you hug them even though you’re an adult.

And I’m loving it. I get it now.

There’s something here, however, I think I need to point out. When you prayed as a child, was the life you have now what you prayed for? Find out why not. It is surprisingly telling. I was so scared to be happy. My mother suffered such personal loss as I grew up and she did her best to let me know frequently. Maybe I felt I had to do the same.

The truth is: I know she’s happy now. And I know I didn’t have to suffer to by happy, at least not any more.