10 OnScreen Crushes

Because I take movies so seriously, I have to, on occasion, give myself over to the fun stuff. Sometimes, movies are just eye candy, really, something for Tom Cruise or Will Smith to blow up stuff with and have us get that large popcorn. Sometimes, too, they are to move us on a level inaccessible through everyday interactions.

And, sometimes, they make us all hot and bothered.

Today is a hot and bothered day. Sure, yes, I gave these hotties some numbers, but, yeah, they're really not in any kind of heirarchy. Personally? I think this might be the perfect psychological exam to see what I like in my men, what makes me all gaga over the masculine form.

Grant you, I'm no idiot. I am so much like that famous quip from Beth, yes, I can call Elizabeth, Beth, but from Beth Taylor-"No, I don't like men. I LOVE men! I want to hold them and squeeze them!"

So here's to the silver screen and those wonderful men that make me, and maybe some of you, swoon. Maybe I'll surprise you.

10. Peter Dinklage-I first noticed this gentleman in The Station Agent, a profoundly obvious star vehicle to get him noticed, and, well, it worked.

Believe it or not, I have not seen Game of Thrones, but I don't doubt it. I have noticed him in titles like Death at Funeral, and, moreso, in 30 Rock. There, I noticed, yes, his voice and style. This is a man who oozes personality. He's the moody poet in the corner, that bad boy, that you just HAVE to sit by and hope he notices you. He has a sense of humor, but it's all of that ironic stuff that you're not sure you should laugh at. The camera is kind to him as well.

Personally? It's his freegin eyes. He could melt sunglasses.

9. Harrison Ford-My first crush. Hairy chest. Wizened deameanor. Can do action. But strong stage presence is evident. Part of the so many great movies because, well, he is a real man. The funny thing? He's not particularly macho, either. So many action stars, like Arnold, were other worldly.  Biceps too big for this reality. But Mr. Ford? He is shy when off camera. He smiles, but it's only a half smile, like he's embarassed by his abs of steel.  If he's in a title, I will do my best to pay it a visit.

8.  Jackie Chan-cute as a button, an action star who kicks ass, and hilarious in person. A sense of humor that literally boils over, even if you can't understand his accent. I will learn Chinese just to be in a movie with this man, he's that good. He's one of the few on this list I can honestly say I have seen all of his movies more than once. His smile is omnipresent, too. Watch when he appeared on the Oscars.

He's just so proud to be there. And me? I was furious when I saw him, for, basically, he's one of the largest movie stars in the world, and here? He's introducing "Live Action Short." How does that work? The dude is AWESOME. I've noticed, too, what I really like about him, what makes him so appealing is, in every fight, he makes a mistake. He is never the bad ass in the movie, even when he's the hero. If he's fighting with a female cohort? She'll land every punch; he'll muck it up and make her life difficult. The big finale only lasts so long as he keeps making mistakes like falling onto hot embers.

That makes him the fool, but it also makes him much more accessible than the Bruce Willises of the world.

And, yes, he's cute.

7.  Mark Wahlberg-you remember this scene? When Tina goes to a guy she met at work?

Yeah. Right there. You saw her looks. Now Mark is, truly, a leading man. And we're not talking the seriousness of Gregory Peck, the versatility of Jack Lemmon, or the openness of Paul Newman (btw, see below, ahem). But there's something classic about Mark. He knows his body is part of his charm. But I have never felt him to be one note. He's more like a Douglas Fairbanks. Where the action hero is evident, but the comedy is also relevant. I see him change characters and try different kinds of movies. He's played bad guys (Fear), understated teachers (the Happening), cops (The Departed), and yet finds time to even play this charmer, walk-on cameo.

And he has a chest.

He elected, too, to not go the way of the Arnold, chiming out hit after hit, either. Instead, he knows his strengths and then plays to them in a variety. I find myself wanting to see him more (and more, and more). The camera is kind to him, but there's something very basic about him-like you'd know someone like him.

I know I want to know him.

6.  Paul Newman/Robert Redford-Yeah, a two parter. Lemme start with the basics. Paul. One of the first celebrity, fudge, he was never a celebe. he was always and actor. Seriously, an actor. His wife has the same birthday as me. Anyhows, I was writing a college paper on good old Tennessee Williams. Talk about an American playwright, if ever there was one. And, as part, I had to read Cat on a Hot Tin Roof.

Yes, I admit it. I was a closet case and it gave me an opportunity to read about a famous closet case who wrote a play about being closet cases without ever giving away the secret.

If you've seen the play, the male lead had a fling with the star of the football team. It's never stated, but everyone is messed up about it in the regal South, but no one says it. That being the case? Paul played the famed male lead, shirt open in the fifties, leg in a cast (read the play, that's not what this column is supposed to be about), limping about pining for the man he loved.

On a sidenote, his character was married to Beth Taylor (there she is again), which makes him REALLY gay, when you think about it.

But his intensity and angst oozed out of every poor. Not only was a great actor, he was willing-to-do-it part, no holds barred.  And we know how hot the summer nights get in the Deep South and he made it just as steamy. It was awesome and my little closeted heart had to watch that movie, twice.

Then? I was watching Indecent Proposal with a Robert Redford. Yeah, Sundance to Mr. Butch Cassidy, played by Paul Newman, in Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid. The movie sucked, but on one reason only.

How, in the world, would someone like Bob Redford have to pay someone to go on a date with him?

This came up recently, as I watched him play the villian in Captain America: Winter Solider.

And my heart skipped a beat. That vegetarain is still got it and he's the same age as my mom. Maybe it's my living in Florida and hanging around so many seniors, but, dang, he looked great.

He's such a good actor, too, I had to fight to hate him, er, his character.

5.  Daniel Craig-I know, I'm cheating, most likely, again. I mean, seriously. Ever since my Brit Lit II teacher allowed me to read Ian Fleming's book and report on their contributions to British literature worldwide (surprise, surprise, they really have..), I have been in love with Mr. Bond, repeatedly. Moreso, I think it's the debonair, the intrigue, and the style, but, what have you.

Then there was Daniel Craig.

I first noticed him after we went to see Tomb Raider. I do love me so actioners, that I do, and Anjelina Jolie is freegin' awesome with a gun. And her male sidekick in this one?

Let's just say he hopped out of the shower in one scene and I was quickly googling who the heck Mr. Abstastic was.

Daniel Craig.  Here's the thing. This dude is like hiring a Shakespearean actor for a kid's flick. He actually has some decent acting chops to support flimsy scripts.

Example:  Cowboys and Aliens and Quantum of Solace.

And some decent abs chops. The dude helped make Dame Judi Dench keep her awesomeness.  And if you can keep your own against the best M in the film series, you're good.

4.  Idris Elba-His eyes. His eyes tell a story. I came across this Thespian when I heard his name being tossed around for the role of Balder in the first Thor movie. Everyone was up in arms about the role of his being black in a Nordic tale.

Oh please. People work with me. It's a story. And a good one.

So, when I saw the movie, and saw this huge man with the stage presence that, in 15 lines, outshone the actual lead protagonist in the movie, I was more than impressed. He even impressed me by outshining the villian as well.

I was smiten. I had to see more. Lately, he was discussed as a possible Bond, as well.

I would see that movie, please.

Here's the thing, the man has an authoriative presence that cannot be denied.

And he's a bit easy on the eyes as well. Everytime I hear him in something, I have to find out more. I want to see this performer more. Even in the shitty actioners.

He does suffer from the same problem as Daniel Craig and many other British Thesps.

Comedy. To me, that sells the performance a bit more. Daniel Craig seems to suffer the same.

3. Marlon Brando-no, not the fat one. The older one. Specifically, the one that showed up in a Streetcar Named Desire.

Showed the movie to my husband, probably the 100th time I'd watched it and even my stoic husOtter said, "well, then, hello youth."

Yes, I blame that blasted paper I wrote in college. Curse you Tennessee Williams! However, I'm noticing a trend here, by now. These men moved to the top of my lists when I was required to work with the literature they were tied to, as if, in my own way, I'd gotten to know them personally. That could be saying something of why several of these men have played such classical character.

And Marlon was one of them.

Talk about raw. One of the few performers, really, ever, to talk about the New Wave of acting (being instead of facing, as it were), of the Lee Strasberg school of acting, he was more than true to the character. He was, truly, THERE.

Not only that, he played the antagonist. The raw sexuality the other character were not understanding. He was, by all definitions, the villain. But he played it with a bit of sentiment. He actually made you pity the slug. I hated him, but I understood him and his pain on a level that was unspoken and unwritten.

That's a testament to the actor and, well, let's just look at that photo again, before time and stress tore it apart.

2. Brad Pitt-what can I say about dear Bradly? I mean, I noticed him, first off, in Thelma and Louise. A terrific movie and he did something that women had done for ages. Played the dumb blonde.

And he didn't care. This is a man who left his first wife for his second due to her sheer philantropic works. He's still with her and has acted twice with her.

That's the thing. He knew he was a pretty face. And he used it to get choice, juicy roles that did not play to it. Inglorious Basterds. 12 Monkeys. World War Z (I mean, really, a Peace Corps doctor? But then I saw the movie...).

Bradley reminds of, also, the classic Hollywood. A face that the camera is kind to, but really takes envigorating roles. It's evident he rotates parts with his ever-awesome wife, and is willing to go to many, many public events with her. He raise money with her and not afraid to be seen with her in public.

Dude. Please, please, please, play a gay character. Or don't. I don't know if my heart can take it.

1.  Chris Evans-I admit it. I put him at number one for one specific reason.

I don't care if he can act. I know. All my professionalism *foom* out the window. I knew something was up when I found myself going to see the outstanding piece of crap known as Push. Two hours of my life I may never get back, a piece of craptacular.

And yet he glorified the screen. I couldn't turn away.

However, he did do something that many should be proud of. He played Captain America to the hilt and didn't turn him into a stereotype, but something worthwhile and approachable. One of the move beloved characters in the Marvel pantheon and he's made it into something that doesn't look stupid in uniform.

In fact, his sequel, The Winter Solider?  Became a "Bourne Identity" thriller with a certain amount of symbolism about how the government has been purchased from private industry and war mongers. d

Heavy shit for an actioner.

But he does it.

And doesn't take off his shirt every 15 minutes, either.

Not that I would mind.

I saw him also in several other titles and, well, he is young, but each role gets a bit better and better, and I have hope that he'll continue to stay on the big screen long beyond his character. I learned, later, as well, that he has a younger brother who is gay. And, because of that, he knows to play to that crowd as well-and look at that impact.

Let's see Mr. Evans do a bit more. I know he's worthwhile.