Movie Review: Transformers

Have you ever heard of a melodrama?
In the olden days of the Wild West, they were theatre for masses. Storylines bordered complex, but the presentation was kept juvenile enough that a man, drunk off his butt could come in and get the story midstream. They were the purest form of entertainment--really hard work for sophisticated actors to take a great idea and whittle it down into something a general audience could digest.
I think I just saw a melodrama.
Transformers is what Pirates of Caribean should have been; it is what all summer movies really should become. I felt like I was in a drive-in.
Micheal Bay, for some reason, is continulally given this big budget pictures for really crappy movies. Armaggedon? Crap. Pearl Harbor? Historical crap.
Sure, both movies had their moments. They seamlessly combined top-of-the-line special effects with actors and kept your jaw on the floor and your head spinning.
Depth? That was down the hall at the art theatre. Mr. Bay wants explosions, lotsa, lotsa explosions.
So I had very little hope for this movie going in. Growing up, my mother subjected me to fifties movies of her youth. Now I'm becoming the adult and now I've got my precious 80's, of which the famed "Transformers" cartoon and toy were born of.
My turn. My partner's turn. Now we can look back at the happy times. That's why we went to see this movie.
But something happened.
Seems that Mr. Bay's childish style of moviemaking worked here much better. The simpler plot, the lack of depth worked to his benefit.
And kept those explosions.
I could go on about the plot, but if you've read the poster, you pretty much got what's going on. An alien race with the ability to mimic machinary brings their war down here.
Simple. Now have the good aliens and the bad aliens fight. Alot.
Explode things.
Folks, as I reread this, I may be sounding very angry at this movie. It's not bad at all. Just simple. And violent.
I'd like to call the robots themselves "eye-candy" but that would not do these amazing behemoths service. They are indeed huge robots with all the guts of a car or truck hanging from one place or another.
They are more like "eye-heroin."
You cannot take your eyes off the screen. The camera in the older days would be static and the special effects would be brought out to you like a good stiff drink. Here? Director Bay moves the camera like a photojournalist in war, giving glimpses of these huge monstrosties in the environment. They fight, they scream and, truly, it is amazing.
What is also amazing is a young Shia LaBouf. Far from the usual teen pinups who use their looks to gain fame, he has cut his teeth with growing up in the business. He is given very little to do with the movie (actors are merely something to watch between special effects sequences in Bay's movies) but you can't take your eyes off of him. He is the kind of kid you met at some party and just knew he was clean-cut enough to accomplish something in his life. That drive is right there on the screen. I want to see him do more.
Yes, he suffers from the 'ugly' theory I once proposed. That the uglier the actor, the better the performance. Don't believe me? Look at Forrest Whittaker as Adi Imin in THe Last King of Scotland. The man is very definition of excellent.
Shia is not exactly Playgirl material.
And we may never see him again because he doesn't have the 'leading man' qualities of Leo DiCaprio or Daniel Craig.
Tis a pity.
I hope this doesn't happen to young Shia.
I hope, also, you might take the time to visit this movie. It isn't a sequel. You might enjoy the noise. There is no commitment. You will truly have a good time.