Just a quick update

It says here that the last time I posted was back in April, and that sounds about right. I have to admit, I didn't like the journal entries that were recommended to me for today; I'm just not feeling the motivation for fiction right now. But, at the same time, I needed to update everyone on who I'm doing.

I had surgery. And it looks like the winner of the whole event is, well, pain.

I had pain going in. And with all the ranting and raving of my family and friends, apparently, the pain is supposed to stop after the surgery. I neglected to ask WHEN that would be. So here I am, unable to really twist my wrist at all--and buttering myself with Aleve and Tylenol.

I hate it.

But I am glad I went through with all this. I'd ever experienced, really "surgery" before. Some observations:

1. Nurses are better then doctors. I've never seen so many people who knew what was going on with me better then I did and were able to respond in kind. After not eating for 24 hours (and being a larger man at 260 pounds, this is like trying to kill myself), my first request out of coming out was food. Then it was pain meds. Then it was get my a bucket, I'm going to vomit because of the food and pain meds. They were on it. Humorously, they could not hold back their fear if I ended up puking. Again, they were not as big as I am. They admitted freely that if I were going to wretch, they might have to dart me in the ass to calm me down.

2. Homophobia still exists. I was just reading a book about how everyone percieves that homosexuality is on the rise and it shows the decline of western civilization. Then the professor goes on to show how the same statement, usually used by church officials, has been used since the 1700s. I bring this up because my apparently (I didn't realize this) homophobic doctor ignored my husband the entire time. Hmmm. There's an irony too. The lady who did the intake for me had a few hundred Bible verses splayed before her on her desk and was reading a Bible on her breaks. She had three crosses around her neck. And she knew that Big D and I were partnered. Not only did she speak to us as equals without a put down, she included him and speak directly to him about his role in the entire process.

3. I am truly a writer. I looked down on the table and noticed that it looked EXACTLY like the table used in Texas lethal injection gurneys. And my hand was strapped in as such.

4. I've been light headed ever since and it's becoming MORE of a bother, not less.

5. The pain at first, was a constant. All of my energy went to pain management. However, as the week moved on, it fluxed up and down. Still doing it.

6. My immune system has been compramised and now my meds are hiding the fact I have a cold or a flu of some sort. Interesting.

7. I've had a hankering to go to church. Badly. Being able to be medically manipulated like that--hmmm. That scared teh bejabbers out of me. And feeling so helpless, well, enough is enough. I think it might be time to get a bit of prayer back in my life.

8. I need to go to Disney park, period. I need to escape this reality for a short period, if not a long one. I think I might set those things in motion.
Okay, so I've written. Now to move to something more creative, and I hope to post.