I did a thing...

A coworker, today, when showing her a picture of my beloved and myself having a fun time before the Millenium Falcon, mentioned, of course, "oh, that looks like fun, right in front of that airplane thing."

That airplane thing.

You see, like, I had always heard about people living under rocks. That things are truly part of common culture (I mean, the first bloody flick came out in 1977!), are sometimes bypassed by few. I know who the Prime Minister is of Canada. It's that hottie, Justin Trudeau.  I know what Red Square looks like, but I've never been.

But that moment proved I was in the Deep South. Couple it with my other coworker mentioning, when I was smuggling myself out exactly at the end of the work day to catch the premiere of the Force Awakens, to the strands of, "oh, that's a Star Wars thing, right?" Or when my other teacher colleague wore a mask and I mentioned he looked like Bane in Batman.

He greeted me with a look of fright.

"Not everyone knows what that is."

But if you've come this far in my story, yes, you do something about what I'm going to talk about here.

And due to my frustration with being to unable to share what's printed here with a majority of my equals, I am using this parable as a warning. Here, there be spoilers. I need to write freely, so, yes, just go with it, my dear readers.

But, yes, I did a thing.

I went to the Star Wars: Galaxy's Edge at Disney's Hollywood Studios for their annual preview.

Still doing the commercial thing.

Very first view upon entry.

Power droids were everywhere, you know, to power the Resistance Forest.

Near the entrance to Rise of the Resistance attraction, the fleet is parked.

A few things, further, before I post some of what I experienced and thought. I frequently am taken to task with my criticism, especially at the cinema. I'll live a movie and my beloved, asshole, friends, are like, "so what'd you hate about that?"

I don't hate, my friends. I've seen more movies than most film students. I know what I like and what I don't like, and the truth is-I LOVE movies. I have learned, over the years, to have a critical eye to those galloping tintypes, and, frankly, I know when they're good and when they are bad. And I, truly, LOVE THEM ALL. When I'm being critical, it's judging the art, not the heart, per se. I know when they can do better. I know they've done worse.

Now when it comes to theme parks? Yeah, I like to think I still have a stake in that fight. I am not an immagineer. But then, again, I'm not a filmmaker. I'm just someone who has had a mind, tempered by the fires of my Florida heat, rolled over by reading column after column of Disney what-not.

So digest that as you will. But do not interpret my penalties against the corporate entity as wishing them ill will or making you doubt your 1000 night stay at a pirate themed room with an over-chlorinated pool. Nor should you see my dreams and hopes as your own.

I just, you know, did a thing.

And this is my thought.

My thoughts started when I was listening to one of Kevin Smith's various podcasts (for the life of me, I can't remember which one), when he elaborated being on the set of Star Wars: The Force Awakens. I became emotionally erect at the humor he injected into a scene where he got to walk up the gangplank onto the aforementioned Millennium Falcon.  He details each tiny step and how the tears welled up with each moment. How his life vanished, and, for one shining moment, that sense of wonder, that sense of setting overtook him and he was dreaming again as if he, too, were zipping through the universe.

I was enthralled. I listened so intently, I remember the moment, able to find my own tears in such a moment. I remember it because I was pulled over for speeding and had to explain said moment to an aging cop who giggled, and, after letting me off with a warning, said, "well, you better enjoy the damn movie now when it opens."

I was not the only person who was listening. Kevin's story MUST have floated to the ears of Disney's execs.

They were building a Star Wars Land. Every Disney park here in Florida seems to have technologically forward driven location. Think about it. Tomorrowland. All of Future World in EPCOT. Then? Pandora came on line. Now there was a conservation-minded Tomorrowland at Animal Kingdom.

But it took forever to build me a chance to live in the world of a Galaxy, Far, Far Away.

It s location made sense. Fantasy. Pathos. Heroes. Villains. All of them soar on the big screen.

Of course, they made a twin in California.

And put it off of Frontierland.

Ah, what? They have a park that is dying-on-the-vine out there, in desperate need of attention. So they put it...across the street.  Not in California Adventure.

Made sense to someone.

Remember, you just wanted to write me a note, correcting me.

This is my opinion. They have valid reasons for doing it. Relax your trigger finger, there, Tex.

See? Passions run wild in the social media universe.

I get it.

My passion ran so wild what when Chewie walked up behind me, I noticed a bit of a tear running down my cheek.

I had met Chewbacca before.  But here? In the Resistance Forest. The vibe was do different. The pull, so different.

Disney is known for such place-setting, that sense you aren't in Kansas any more and, no, you can't find your way immediately back.

There was some fumbling here-it takes a bit until I reached the towering spires of the Black Spire Outpost. And the whole experience came into view. Highly linked to the cities of Tatooine, it was basically a copy.

I was technically in a different location in their universe, but the familiarity flared.

A doorway copied from Mos Eisley...Tattooine

Soda pop that doubles as a thermal detonator. Good to know.

But that familiarity? That was wholly my own. I mean, really. I think the reason why the lines and crowds aren't materializing are two-fold. No one has an emotional connection with this brief glimpse of the Star Wars canon.  People are coming in, it's cool and all, but they go home and say things, like, "yeah, there's a thing." They went to Pandora, and there's a novelty. Here? Something, somewhere, in between. It's strange.

The trees are young, and the leaves aren't strong enough to wipe out the Florida sun. That and the concrete movie set? Hots-ville. Place is begging to lilt the heartiest of the stouthearted.

Details abound.

And, Disney being Disney, they have the stage-show adage, "always leave them wanting more." The fact is, they overstaffed the place with trainees. So personal serve was incredible. But I also live in Florida, I know that won't last. Their costumes? TREMENDOUS, and one of the biggest pluses. Disney will cut corners here, giving a costume that works in both Fantasyland AND Tomorrowland. But, there, in Hollywood? There was no mistaking the cast members. But they also had the cast members role play the story of the locale--fine, fine, fine. But here's the tic. Not all guests can role play. They won't have a snippy comeback and I noticed on several occasions, long pauses of awkwardness that either resulted from a new cast member learning the ropes, the storyline being a bit flimsy, or they reached a Star Wars geek like myself.

One crewbie tried to engage me and I pointed out that there didn't seem to be any Chriss in this outpost, and that the Grand Admiral Thrawn had started out in this very location before moving to his Imperial seat.

"That was centuries ago."

"Actually, no, it's canon," Yeah, I shut my trap, but, son, you might want to be careful out there. There are worse geeks with bigger stomachs coming your way.

We're fat and hungry and read all the Star Wars books.

And now you know why I was tearing up.

A quibble, thank you, but I noticed such pauses with my own husOtter-where he got lost in the acting, and not in a good way.

As for the one attraction?

That bloody Falcon.

It's a bit, inconsistent.

Both attractions, the newest generation, over at Pandora, I feel, are better and cut new ground. Here? Yes, it is VERY personalized. It is a simulator, and, given the very smaller group, after a day of crowds, it feels like a solid, personalized experience that was ours and ours alone to have and to hold. In that way? Success. But the problem is, unless you know everyone in the group of six you're assigned to, you fly into a great many monoliths. We found on the second try, we were assigned piloting duties, and since we're married, able to communicate (argue) a bit better than most, reducing crashes and making for a better ride. The better ride means more additional scenes.

But, in the end, it's small, short, and happens so quickly, you miss the details. I suppose they wanted us to ride again, since it meant we were going to be in the area longer which means we'll spend more money.

This is, after all, Disney.

Don't get me wrong, we had fun. And the fifth generation Hondo is AMAZING, but again, we were rushed out, seeing him for only a few moments, so they can reduce the line outside.

Organization.

The pin they give you, so they know which saber you'll be constructing. So, like, a very expensive pin.

Savi doing his lecture. Your experience may vary on the quality of this performer. Ours was great.

The vital Kyber Crystal that imbues the saber. It also powers the Death Star's weaponry. That powerful. Choose wisely.

HusOtter when with 'Nature' and 'Balance.'

The options.

Savi still doing his thing. 

Savi's was something we were both VERY impressed with. We were impressed with the Olivander's wand ceremony, and, like with Kevin Smith, you know someone floated over, saw the lines, saw the rubes willing to pay 80 dollars for molded plastic with a microchip inside that causes things to move in shop windows throughout the area.

And Disney said ka-ching.

The fact is, Olivander's was so popular, they had to open two more at the linked park to get more sales going. The show? Awesome, but it really only worked with two people, so kids in a family might be left out, and while a crying child might be a motivator for a parent to ride again, it's not always steadfast.

So? Disney made Savi's. This broke a bit from the canon with Star Wars, where the Jedi is set about on tasks to get their Kyber crystal and construct their own light saber, but, whatever, it's really cool.

And expensive.

A bear and an otter playing holochess in the mess hall of the Millennium Falcon. 

There's a bit of role playing going on, there's voice over, theme music and, I felt, more engaging than the Smuggler's Run, for some reason. We really liked it, even if it was a bit rushed. But I left with a huge smile across my face. So yeah, this? This was a hit.

As for Smuggler's run? A large video game on a big screen. Think Star Tours with more interactions. You'll fail at first, since you're overwhelmed. And the comedy is wasted. The fact that Hondo is there is wonderful, a terrific character from Star Wars Rebels television show, after first appearing in Clone Wars. There's a few hiccoughs, as you see the famed vessel outside, then, suddenly, it's being moved to an internal hanger-makes sense, that's where we'll board, but there's no acknowledgement. Chewie is outside, walking around, but, yet, here he is, again, so the storyline jumps a bit.

HusOtter and I enjoy video games and on the second try, got a higher score AND was able to figure out the expectations, as well as, get a role that was better for us. Since we knew each other, we were able to coach each other, making for the higher score and making it all a bit more worthwhile for us. However, coupled with strangers? Like our first time? Meh. The pilots had been drinking rum and blue milk, and we're giggling as they fly into pylons, ships, and ring-debris. Lovely. See what I mean? Really hit or miss, I think, here. I hope they never add FastPass, so that more can enjoy it.

Guessing we've colonized the forested moon of Endor? Cause this is supposedly Endorian. 

I guess we should try to be regular in space, cause you know what hypersapce does when it hits the GI tract.

The food was also good, I mean, this is Disney, but the portion to price was meh.

I know, right? What was I thinking. And while not as engaging as the treats served over at Satul'i Canteen, we found it was satisfying enough. Just, we left hungry.

No. I saw where blue/green milk comes from. I ain't touching that stuff until that's washed out of my noggin. I have no idea how people could enjoy that. Again, this is from the Universal songbook-it's Butterbeer for the Galactic Senate, as it were.

The Water Batha, the source of green milk. BLECH

Another Wizarding World copycat is the Droid Factory, which I also indugled in. Nothing like making a toy to annoy the corgis with, no?

Look at all the pieces! How many cases of pink eye can I get from the Great Unwashed?

All the things you'll need.

I'm not mechanical, but I am electrical.

In fact, I began to notice that Harry Potter really did inform much of this exciting and exotic land. I mean, really, Star Wars is older, and has an older (read: employed and willing to spend) fan base. And, yeah, it makes sense. As Harry Potter opened, Disney did not flinch, feeling their upcoming Fantasyland expansion would topple the new hip scene forming across I-4. Alas, when the crowds didn't materialize, and then people were taking a day or three off of their Disney vacations to rent a car to see said Wizarding World? The execs jumped on it.

And they did it. This is an amazing place. And I liked it.  It may not have been the best Disney offered (I still believe the edge and originality goes with Pandora, probably because we didn't have a familiarity with the rich world it stemmed from, giving the artisans more to play with).

I look at this way. I love very, very specific movies. Stranger than Fiction. Sky Captain and the World of the Tomorrow. But these movies play to a personality trait and love with me. I know better than to recommend them to the world at large. But the place itself? I cannot help think that there's going to be future tooling of the location.  It's not the best that they can pull off, in my humble opinion, if that makes sense. Great stuff for the buff, but, like, passing for the casual observer. As for the Disney goer and fan? Some where delightfully in between.

But I'm sad. I may never probably get to Star Wars Land again. Ever. Ugh. Not because I don't want to.

Because it'll probably be all zooballs.

We'll see.