On a Snowy Afternoon

I hate this weather. I seriously do. I look out the window here at the Starbuck's and all I see is the heavy flakes of a witner that is encroaching. But it isn't heavy enough to clog the streets and give me the break I so need from working. No, it's just enough to annoy, and seriously, that is what it's doing. Annoying me.

And annoyance, as i probably already stated, means that something else is bothering me--I just can't put my fingers on it.

I think it is because I'm going through all of these life changes and rites of passage as of now but I cannot, for life of me, tell if they are what I am supposed to be doing. I'm a big believer in Fate. I equate the concept with God--in that, I cannot thinking that both have a plan that they are following and we are supposed to fall in line with. When Fate sends signals, its not because God wants me to know the path, but merely that I was attune enough to myself to read the symbols. Like this Florida stuff. I know I'm supposed to do something linked to Florida. Something. But am I supposed to go there? I just found out two of my coworkers are from the area I would like to find myself. Am I supposed to connect with them?

I wish, in my heart, I really could send an email. An emial to someone who would know. Some sifu or teacher or someone who has already reached a pinnicle and has soemthing to show for it. Someone like Oprah or George Clooney or even the President. I'd love to ask,"hey, what signs did you see? Or were there times when you were like...am I doing this right?"

That, in and of itself would provide me with volumes of information. That email would make it to a clear-view bulletin board so I can refer back and say, "SEE, you're not a total idiot!

"Just mostly one."

Until that time, I'll stick to meditating.

I ask this because a very obvious sign came to me. My husband and I LOVE the Space Coast. That is a place where we'd love to live and die. I applied for a teaching postion there, and was shafted by a cold hearted office assitant.

"Can you be here for an interview tomorrow?" The manx questioned, knowing full well i was in Colorado.

I was turned off the prospect of working there. If that was the kind individual they'd hire to answer thier phones, I could only imagine what else she was smoking.

So I shut down that blue chapter and went on living. I was saddened, to be sure.

And then, out of the blue...an email from the school district. They had all of my information for that district and I could now apply for positions. Not that there was any.

The door opened again. Why now? It was creepy.

But was it a sign?